Rays of Consciousness

Insight into who I am? Hmm, one of my dearest friends said, "You need to get your t.v. watchin, greenery smokin, feline lovin, tree-huggin, no meat eatin, Goddess-adoring butt out of that bed and get to school! You hear me?!?" Of course I mumble and grumble in protest, mornings aren't my bag.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Alrighty I know I haven't blogged in a while....

I'm still working at the same job as before. Love it! Just recently got awarded a cute 'award check' that reads:
Pay to the order of: Miss Rachella, in the amount of "lots of hugs", Memo: For caring and sharing! From: Baker Middle School. Now isn't that sweet? I think I'll frame it. Love the kids I work with they all have something different to teach me and I soak it all up with a smile and gratitude. I think what I like best about my job are the out of blue hugs from them. I'm constantly working and never sitting that sometimes when one of the kids steps into my path deliberately to throw me off I have to come to a halting stop and look at them questionably. They extend their arms and throw them around me and I swear my heart just lights up right then and there!

VR didn't come through for this Spring. They said 'maybe' in the Fall. Boy that threw me for a loop. Won't go into why it all went down the way it did but part of it has to do with their focus shifting more on jobs than school. So I thought about things long and hard and came to a conclusion.

Sort of....re-directing my goals. I will always love learning about herbal medicines. I just don't think the big guys out there when I apply for scholarships this spring for the Fall to go to school, that they'd support my degree. They're more likely to throw money at those who want to become doctors or teachers or even nurses than at someone who wants to study alternative medicine. So, I decided to return back to my original major. I'd like to get my Bachelors in Education. Also along the way in Special Ed and Deaf Ed. That way if there aren't any openings at deaf schools in Colorado down the line for me to teach at then I can still be a Special Ed teacher since there is a demand now for them. Down the line hopefully a position would clear up and I could get into one of the deaf schools and work as a teacher there.

I figure, once I am a teacher I can put myself through night school for herbology. Get a certificate maybe and end up teaching herbal classes on the weekend or at a private institute somewhere even. Won't give up that goal but it needs to go underground for a little while.

My apartment is coming along nicely. Still procrastinating on finishing the paint jobs I wanted to accomplish around the place though. Ugh, I really need to get in gear and get it done. My cats are doing great. Cody just sent this cool water fountain designed for pets to drink from since they are always drinking from my facet in the bathroom. They like it very much!

Roslyns' birthday was yesterday. I went down to the cemetary and visited her. I think I was the last visitor of the day because there were all kinds of goodies left behind for her. I know she would have loved the Care Bear Balloon her sister Nikki left behind for her. I had some alone time with her which I wanted, and just poured my heart out to her talking about life, mistakes, and triumphs I've endured lately. Of course it got emotional and I cried and just then on that cloudy evening, something parts and a ray of light shines down on me. I look around the rest of the cemetary and no where else was there light being rayed on. I knew then and there it was Roslyns' way of smiling and affirming to me that she's listening. I sprinkled pennies all over her grave. We had a memory we laughed about that involved pennies. Every time I see one now, I think it's her way of saying hello to me and I pick it up and smile. I tied a crystal on a pink (her favorite color) flowered fabric string and hung it up on one of the brances that extend above her site. I lit a candle and sang to her all of 'our' songs we used to love signing.

I miss her deeply.