Rays of Consciousness

Insight into who I am? Hmm, one of my dearest friends said, "You need to get your t.v. watchin, greenery smokin, feline lovin, tree-huggin, no meat eatin, Goddess-adoring butt out of that bed and get to school! You hear me?!?" Of course I mumble and grumble in protest, mornings aren't my bag.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Fall in Glenwood Springs

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Friday, October 14, 2005


I can't wait to begin my lessons in four days! Starting Wednesday nights I will join in with a friend who takes them. What is "them" you ask? Belly dancing! Now don't laugh. I'll have you know full size figured gals have been performing since the arts was invented. They would perform in temples, at weddings, community gatherings, for sultans...in fact it is customary today for Egyptian weddings to hire belly dancers to perform for the newly married couple.

Funny, I lived in Oregon only a few short months but had two friends with whom I resided with at the time. Missy and Gary. Missy was/is a belly dancer and performed at India restaurants where Gary and I would go to watch and be supportive of her. She used to nag on me all the time to take classes with her but was always met with a resounding reluctance. I insisted that queen sized womyn could not partake of the arts where the focal point would be on the stomach. This isn't true though, there is a large variety of costumes that flatter the body in a better way and the midriff does not always have to be shown. I weigh maybe a little bit less than I did when I lived in Oregon though. What changed? My attitude, that's what. Gone are the days that I'm sitting on the sidelines watching life slip by me.

Time to get actively engaged and participate in all of the adventures life has to offer me!

Check out this link: http://www.angelfire.com/art/bbwdance/cando.htm

Can't wait to learn how to shiiiiiiimmmmmyyy properly!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Ahhhh I know I haven't blogged for a little while. Of course the not-so-subtle GrayStorm takes the opportunity to remind me ever so bluntly to upgrade it! Hehehe. Okay okay...

Well I am finally learning the flow of things. I swear there were times I was ready to get up and walk away and find another job back with Denver Public Schools (DPS)where I worked under last year. It's had it challenges and still does. I am not entirely sure I will be there for the Spring or if I will indeed decide on going back to DPS. Time will tell and I'll make my decision in a month or two. I love the gal I work one-on-one with though. Can't help but bond with her being her sole educator on a daily basis. The third grade teacher who works there has never had experience with special needs kids and I've had a year under my belt of a variety of kids who deal with one or numerous disabilties. So basically, I am the one who comes up with all the lesson plans for her and modify everything I possibly can to make it the least restrictive environment for her. I also had a volcanic eruption of ideas of how RMDS could be improved but PlanetKai threw me down in the dirt and told me to become a wallflower, not stage a coup. She was absolutely right to do that too. I am new, "young", just starting out in my major and these teachers that are there are older and more experienced. I am learning to keep my ideas documented and in check but not so much to voice them just yet. Especially if I am unsure I'll even be there through Spring. The reasons are long and varied of why I am contemplating the switch back to DPS so I won't get into all of it here right now.

It's going great! Never better! I had a presentation to give with a group on Attention Defict Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) last Thursday. Whew we prepared long and hard for this and did some research where I not only relied on textbook material but asked two close friends of mine how they dealt with it on a daily basis. Riled up some pent up emotions on their part I think but I think if anything, they were glad for the check-in with themselves. Since most presentations consists of PowerPoint we decided to spice it up by adding a skit. This was a skit based on our case-analysis book in which a third grader named Maria had ADHD. She was often daydreaming in class, hardly bothered other students but because of her inattentiveness, she didn't complete the classwork in a timely fashion. We modeled how a teacher should NOT approach Maria then turned it around and acted out how the teacher should be treating Maria. Guess who played Maria? Yeah, I did. That was fun. In the case analysis book she had long black hair so as a joke the group brought me one of those halloween black wigs. I wore it of course and added a bunch of girly clip-ons you might find in a typical third-graders' hair. Hey I work with them everyday, I think I've become an expert now on their behaviors ha! The class started laughing when I came back in with the wig. Hard to keep myself in character but pulled it off nicely. I mean daydream and be inattentive? Not that hard to act out heh. Even threw my voice a few times when the "teacher" kept asking me to pay attention I would whine, I AMMMM! I had fun with this!

On another academic note, the teacher from my other class asked for permission to read my paper to the class. He found it to be a 'model' paper and said it had excellent voice fluency. That was a heck of a self-esteem boost! It's nice to be reminded thatI am more intelligent than I give myself credit for.

They're all doing pretty good. My brother also wrote an excellent paper. So good that the professor pulled him aside and accused him of plaglarism. Aaron was shocked of course and stood his ground. Challened the professor to check his sources if he didn't believe this was his work. The professor was taken back and said for as quiet as Aaron was in his class, he was thrown off but now he expected ever paper he turns in to be just as competent. That's my brother! I called him up and told him how proud I am of him when mom shared that with me. He's almost done with his Bachelors in History. Not sure what he plans to do with it but chances are he'll just keep his butt in school and go all the way to receive a Masters.

I'm sure the rest of my family is doing okay. I've been busy juggling school, work and volunteer time that it's hard to keep updated on a consistent basis. Mom and I are refining our relationship as time moves on and I'm so grateful to have that opportunity too. It wouldn't occur if I wasn't living here at home in Colorado.

My babies are doing awesome. Of course I spoil them rotten but they're my precious companions what can mama say?!

Great social life! Though getting a little tired of the small and limited queer deaf community here. Often times just of the entire deaf community itself. I just get so tired and frustrated with people therein trying to stuff me into some box to adapt their comprehension of me better. I am too eccentric and eclectic to fit inside any narrow box they might be waving in front of me. Starting to develop more connections with hearies who know sign-language. In fact, I might be heading to the Springs for a college party this weekend. Supposed to be climbing with ladies so naturally Jordann wants me by her side to take the edge off. I still have very close relationships, one on ones with several deafies here but the whole deaf group events is starting to lose its appeal to me. I'd just like to find a balance of both integrating themselves in my life.

Ha what love life?! I'll admit one thing. I joined a Personals website. Never thought I'd be the kind to do so but think about it. As busy as I am, where else can I narrow it down to meeting like-minded people? I am sick of the noisy bars and that's too nervewracking to follow conversations that are occuring around me. If you're deaf with deaf then no problem but if you're deaf mingling amongst hearing gals, major hurdle to overcome. I've only been registered less than a week and I've received a few inquiries.

Honestly, I believe in starting off as friends and if there's enough chemistry that has grown from there then we can proceed to dating. If there's not then what the hey I made some new friends! Either way I'm content. I know all the safety rules too guys n gals so no lectures. Talk for a while online, if meeting them do so in a public place and tell a friend where you'll be going and when you'll be back and who you're meeting. Covering my bases because there are lots of weirdos out there! I've pretty much accepted with the tiny deaf lezzie community that is here in Colorado, I will most likely be found dating hearing. I have no problem with that as long as they invest enough interest to learn some ASL or take a class down the line.

I am sooooooooooooo looking forward to Fall Break from RMDS. Definitely will be going camping with one friend this weekend OR out with another to CS to meet some new strangers and play. Haven't decided which but either way, mountains here I come!

I went to this most amazingly serene place last weekend. A Buddhist temple. Wow! It was really such a long overdue treat to my psyche to feel renewed and centered. The artwork is still an undergoing process for inside the Great Stupa but the exterior looks amazing and colorful! It's a fun trek through the mountains then out of nowhere it appears! Took my breath away, especially when I went inside to meditate. Click on The Great Stupa, view the actual Stupa and then go down and click on "Giving to the Stupa".


That's all for now folks!